Saturday, March 18, 2017
To my friend who lost her baby
To my friend who just lost a baby -
I don't know how it feels to lose a baby at 35 weeks, but I do know how it feels to lose a baby that you've been dreaming about, planning for, and already love with your whole heart.
There are no words to comfort you or to take away your pain. There is nothing anyone can say or do to give you back the one thing that you really want. You will always miss your baby girl.
Unfortunately, your naiveté has been taken away. The "normalcy" of getting pregnant and having a baby will never again be normal for you. That's not okay, but that's your new normal. It's okay to grieve that loss as well as the loss of your baby. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to cry. It's okay to not want to see other people's babies or to see other people pregnant. It's also okay if you WANT to hold babies and love on them. Grief is a process, and some days you'll feel normal....other days, it will hit you out of nowhere.
In a few months, you might feel like the world has moved on. When they do, it's okay to talk about your baby girl. It's also okay to not talk about her. If you feel like talking about her makes you feel better, do it. If you're worried about making people uncomfortable by talking about your baby, do it anyway. She will always be a part of your life, and hiding her from people will make you feel worse.
When you are ready to try for more babies, do it. You know they won't replace your baby girl. She is forever your perfect angel baby.
Love and prayers for all of you,